Awakened Relating

couples coaching & guidance

Looking for deeper intimacy and conscious love?

awakened relating coaching is for couples looking to liberate and grow through their relationship.

I'm passionate about intimacy, relationships and sex- I think the way we relate to others is so fundamental to our sense of who we are, our sense of community and fulfillment in life. 

I also know they're a lot of work, and to have the kind of deep partnership and healing we desire, we need tools and help to keep connections strong and relationships thriving. 

For those on the spiritual path- relationships can be containers for radical awakening, exploring non-duality through the portal of intimacy and a space to uncover and heal many shadow aspects of our psyche. When we utilize the full power of relating and spiritual growth it can be an incredibly deep and transformation experience, and bring the love, creativity and connection many of us deeply crave in our core.

 

Sexuality and Sensuality are a core part of relating and therefor a core part of the work I do with couples, utilizing sacred sexuality and neo-tantra as a way to explore erotic power and connection in profound and magical ways. It is so important while doing the deep (and often hard) work of conscious relating and healing to also nourish ourselves with intimacy and pleasure! It is part of deepening connection, creating safety and integrating and embodying the work. We use the power or ritual and sacred space holding to create a regular container for this energy to work in your relationship. 

 

Most relationship counselling or therapy works entirely with the mind and communication, which are important parts of the process but it leaves out some of the most important parts of the work. Many of our triggers and traumas are rooted in the body and the nervous system, and takes working with the body and attunement to really heal and harmonize.  A lot of arguments are caused by 'stories' and projections, so when we stay in our heads and ignore the body, we miss the core pieces that are key to freeing ourselves. 

In this coaching we work with conscious communication but also emotional intelligence/release, somatic experiencing, aspecting/pillow work, nervous system regulation, breathwork and Tantric tools like eyegazing, breath and energy work as well as ritual, massage and other tools that build physical connection and intimacy to reconnect us beyond words and thoughts after doing the mind work. You're also given 'homework' to integrate the pieces that are uncovered and continue the process.
 

I've personally explored many relationship dynamics- casual open relating, deep twin-flame soul merging, long term friends-with-benefits and many realms in between. I don't believe there is one right or wrong way to explore relationships, and they can change with each person and even over time with the same person. I know however that being a (sometimes) poly, kinky, queer sexworker gave me whole new perspectives and challenges in relationships- and that there can be little support available for alternative relationship help without the judgment and shaming for our choices.

  • Through my time in kink communities I saw the exploration of power dynamics, sexual identities and the power of good communication and sexual creativity in exploration.

  • Through open relating I found how many possibilities there are for loving people when you create your own rules and write your own love story.

  • I found through my time working as a stripper that I spend hours talking with men about relationship issues, desires and a longing for deeper connections with their partners, as well as many backstage conversations with workers who struggled to balance relationships and working in the industry.

  • Through my spiritual and Tantric work I've found how deeply I can awaken to the interconnection of all beings through the connection with lovers, open portals through profound tantric sexuality experiences that send me to other galaxies, healing trauma through tantric massage and created magic and transformation through ritual.

I've studied relationships and various forms of relationship coaching and therapy for my own evolution and to be a support for fringe communities (though I also work with monogamous, hetero folk a lot too!) and I offer 2 kinds of coaching for couples and triads (coaching more at the same time is a little too many for this particular work though for now!)

The coaching is all trauma-informed, radical consent focused and based on conscious communication, authenticity, mutual desire for growth and amazing intimacy building tools that are as healing as they are fun and sexy. I believe relationships can be powerful containers for rapid self-development, spiritual growth, deep healing and transformation- and that having support and tools to help along the way makes all the difference. 

This coaching methodology has a strong foundation in Tantric philosophy where all emotions and expressions are fuel for growth and development. 

3 key Tanric philosophies are

-Awakening (You are not what you are raised to believe you are. You are not your ego, thoughts, emotions.  Awakening is getting woke to the idea that you are the presence and consciousness within you.)

-Liberation (Social conditioning and our ideas of ourselves hold us back. We create this literal prison of taboos, fears and discomforts and all kinds of things in the unconscious. Liberation is the decision to be free of that which is not true to the truth of us.)

-Consciousness (There is a unifying presence and consciousness (or divinity) in everything)

I studied the VITA coaching method, studying over 650 hours and gaining over 80 hours of coaching experience with more than 50 clients so far. I've worked with all varieties of topics, from sexual pain and shutdown, gender identity, life/business coaching, relationship problems, religious conditioning and working with people who just desire a fuller, sexier, more free lifestyle. 

I majored in Tantric Sexuality and Relationship transformation, so I love working with people who want to explore conscious sexuality and deepen their connection to themselves and others. 

"Sex, love and relationship coaching is partnering with a client(s) in a loving, compassionate and supportive way to create a conscious container for transformation that results in greater self-love, integration and self-realization while staying focused on the client achieving their goals and desires in alignment with the truth of their original essence"

- Layla Martin's definition of her VITA coaching system. (The Vital & Integrated Tantric Approach to Coaching)

I combine these teachings with many other tools from my experience in conscious sexuality work, BDSM and consent training as well as embodiment and dance tools. 

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coaching packages

Coaching is most effective when done in a package as it is a process, and the more you both commit to doing the whole process and the home practices, the more results you will see. 

I currently have 2 options for coaching packages depending on your desires. 

DEEPENING INTIMACY

8 week conscious relationship transformation

Relationships often start off so easy and flowing as we explore deep attraction. Everything is new and shiny and you can't believe how amazing this human is! Then along the way the things that drew you to someone can be the triggers that set you off, and as we get closer and develop safety then desire can decrease. 

Relationships can be such a potent container for deep healing, co-evolution and self discovery.

But it is only natural that over time, the more we explore someone, the more we face our own fears and insecurities as well as facing the not-so-pretty sides of our partners and ourselves. This is actually the perfect time for healing deeply ingrained patterns and conditioning from our childhoods and from society as a whole.

Most of us haven't learned the communication and intimacy building skills that we need to have a truly thriving long-term relationship as this type of conscious, evolutionary new paradigm of relating is still a pretty new thing! Luckily there are lots of amazing modern therapeutic tools, as well as conscious/spiritual practices that can help us explore and love deeper. 

This package is for couples ready to take their relationship to another level, who are ready to dive deep, be vulnerable with each other and to really understand their partner and themselves in a new way. 

You don't have to wait until you're in a conflict to do this work, and actually learning these tools BEFORE getting to a space of distress is ideal. If you know you're ready to change your patterns and experience awakened relating, this is for you!

We begin with getting really clear on your current relationship intentions and where you want to go as a couple, creating a 'couple bubble' of your core needs and desires in a relationship then moving through conscious communication practices, intimacy building tools and deep healing processes. 

We look at what kind of intentions and agreements are important for you, how sex and intimacy plays a part in your relationship and what triggers and projections are affecting your harmony. 

We cover how to really hold space for one another, practice active listening, communicating desires, meeting one anothers core needs (and our own), addressing childhood, ancestral and parental wounds and how to clear them, emotional intelligence and emotional expression, as well as intimacy building Tantric tools and holistic sexuality practices.

You'll learn how to really hold space for each others healing process and how to manage conflict and come back to harmony in the future

This coaching takes attachment styles and love languages into the process and customizes practices for your unique needs and desires.

All genders welcome. Poly, kink and SW friendly!

6 x 60 minute sessions

2 x 120 minute deep dive sessions

(optional additional solo sessions to work on your individual situations to work in harmony with the couples work).

Recommended weekly or fortnightly sessions.

Price-

BASIC SESSION- 130€ per session ($AU210) 

VIP SESSION- 180€ per session ($AU290)

-Includes custom audios and email support between calls, plus bonus couples course from the Sensual Arts School.


Low income options available by request

Payment plans available

Sacred eroS JOURNEY

6 week tantric sexuality and intimacy exploration 

Take your intimacy to profound, deep and powerful places. 

This journey is for couples looking to explore the conscious erotic arts of divine intimacy. 

Week by week we'll explore various practices, rituals and intimacy building tools to accelerate your sexual growth as a couple and awaken your erotic potential, as well as giving space for healing and integration around sexuality and pleasure. 

You'll learn some of the best practices for giving one another powerfully connection, healing and pleasurable experiences, from sensual Tantric massage to wild and primal play, to deep sex magic rituals using chakra play and energy play. This journey can also include conscious kink and bondage if you have desires to explore BDSM, or it can be totally sensual and energetic focused. 

This journey is for you if you're a couple looking to explore your sexuality together. You might already have an epic sex-life and you want to go even deeper, you might be exploring energy and conscious sexuality for the first time or you might have got to that natural place in your relationship when sexual intimacy has dipped and you're looking to re-ignite the passion. Whatever your story, all couples could get a lot out of this coaching. 

Each session will include a communication aspect for building connection, an intimacy deepening tool and a main practice that can either be done live with full audio guidance or be taught and done after the session has finished as a private date night. 

Some practices you'll learn are Tantric breathwork practices, yoni/limgam massage, sensual rituals, sex magic, primal exploration and erotic energy play.

All practices can be taught for same-sex, gender non-conforming or trans people and can be adapted to suit personal needs. 

We'll also work with any resistances, blockages or traumas that come up along the way so you can have a deeper understanding of what is holding you back from taking the intimacy a layer deeper.

6 x 90 minute sessions (weekly or fortnightly)

Optional solo coaching additional sessions for specific blockages or issues either of you face

Price-

BASIC SESSION- 160€ per session ($AU260) 

VIP SESSION- 200€ per session ($AU320)

-Includes custom audios and email support between calls, plus bonus couples course from the Sensual Arts School.

1 off session-

4 Hour personal workshop including tantric intimacy building tools, communication exercises and a guided yoni/lingam massage ritual - 480€ ($AU790)


Low income options available by request

Payment plans available

Or if you're already all in then send me an email and let's get started!

FAQ

What is the difference between coaching and therapy/councelling?

A lot of people doubt coaching because it isn't as regulated as therapy is (really, anyone can call themselves a coach) or don't really understand the difference. 
There are some great coaches and there are some that have no idea what they're doing, that's for sure! (I'll admit, I was even one of them before I did my intensive training certification!)
Therapy is, in general,  past-focused, problem-focused. You go to therapy to try to 'fix' something and a lot of the time it is very mind oriented. They help you correct damaging behavior and patterns from the past, and it's a great place to have time to share about your issues, process them and get reflection.

Coaching is desire/goal orientated, so we focus on where you want to be and remove obstacles in the way that are there at present, we're not so focused on the 'story' or history unless it's actively causing problems in your life right now. Coaching also focuses on accountability- we hold you to the promises you make yourself so that you can really make the changes in your life you want to make. We also don't position ourselves as an authority and work with an equal dynamic, being a mirror to your experience and having the belief that you know what you really need in your life and have the power and creativity to get what you want, we just ask the right questions and provide tools. We work holistically with mind, body, emotions and energy.

Therapy is ideal if you are dealing with trauma that dramatically affects your day to day life or are feeling incredibly shut down and disconnected. Coaching is ideal if you're dealing with life OK and you want to move towards thriving (having some past trauma is fine, we all do! But you want to be at a point where you've managed to find some balance and can regulate your nervous system!)

What if I don't see results?

The results are generally a reflection of the work you're willing put in and your dedication to change, this is why choosing coaching should be a 'fuck yes' decision and not something to be half-assed and given up on- that isn't worth either of our time! If however you do try your best and see absolutely no significant change at the end of the sessions we can discuss a partial or full refund!

I'm not spiritual or believe in energy at all- is this for me?

We work with a lot of meditation and breathwork so you'll need to at least be open-minded to trying new things. We can find the language and approach that works for you, but the work is quite spiritual in nature and the best work I do is with people willing to try new things and explore their potential.

It's online, how can it be that good? I need in-person support.

In general, in therapy, workshops etc, it is rare to have physical contact with your teacher/therapist unless you're doing specific bodywork. You'd be surprised just how powerful online sessions can be, and you get to do them without leaving the house (I don't mind if you're in pajamas!). A lot of people actually find having the comfort and safety of their home, plus the distance/anonymity of an online coach to be better for working with sexuality. It also means you can turn off your camera and explore some of the practices live and get feedback as you go when working with self-pleasure or erotic practices.

What if I just want 1 session?

I no longer do single sessions, as getting really clear on a desire and getting clarity on your goals and obstacles alone takes a whole hour usually! If you're interested in a longer, single day intensive then we can always work something out, please email me for more information. 

Do you do sessions in person?

Sometimes, especially for breathwork sessions or emotional release, or if you're at a retreat with me! Generally even when I'm in the same city as someone, we do sessions online though. 

Can I be naked/self pleasure while you watch?

No, it's not that kind of coaching. I suggest searching for some lovely webcam models to spend some money on! <3 

Feel free to email me any other questions, or jump on a clarity call with me!

©2018 by Sensual Artistry.

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