Looking for deeper intimacy and conscious relating?
Welcome to the new paradigm of sex, love and relationships...
I'm passionate about relationships and sex- I think the way we relate to others is so fundamental to our sense of who we are, our sense of community and fulfillment in life.
I also think they're a lot of work and to have the kind of deep partnership and healing we desire, we need tools and help to keep connections strong and relationships thriving.
I've personally explored many relationship dynamics- casual open relating, deep twin-flame soul merging, friends-with-benefits and many realms in between. I don't believe there is one right or wrong way to explore relationships, and they can change with each person and even over time with the same person. I know however that being a (sometimes) poly, kinky, queer sexworker gave me whole new perspectives and challenges in relationships and that there can be little support available for relationship help without the judgment and shame for our choices.
I found through my time as a stripper I spend hours talking with men about relationship issues, desires and a longing for deeper connections with their partners, as well as many backstage conversations with workers who struggled to balance relationships and working in the industry.
Through my time in kink communities I saw the exploration of power dynamics, sexual identities and the power of good communication and sexual exploration.
Through open relating I found how many possibilities there are for loving people when you create your own rules and write your own love story.
I've studied relationships a lot for my own evolution and to be a support for fringe communities (though I also work with monogamous, hetero folk a lot too!) and I offer 2 kinds of coaching for couples and triads (coaching more at the same time is a little too many for this particular work though for now!)
The coaching is all trauma-informed, radical consent focused and based on conscious communication, authenticity, mutual desire for growth and amazing intimacy building tools that are as healing as they are fun and sexy.
This coaching methodology has a strong foundation in Tantric philosophy where all emotions and expressions are fuel for growth and development.
3 key Tanric philosophies are
-Awakening (You are not what you are raised to believe you are. You are not your ego, thoughts, emotions. Awakening is getting woke to the idea that you are the presence and consciousness within you.)
-Liberation (Social conditioning and our ideas of ourselves hold us back. We create this literal prison of taboos, fears and discomforts and all kinds of things in the unconscious. Liberation is the decision to be free of that which is not true to the truth of us.)
-Consciousness (There is a unifying presence and consciousness (or divinity) in everything)
I studied the VITA coaching method, studying over 650 hours and gaining over 60 hours of coaching experience with more than 60 clients so far. I've worked with all varieties of topics, from sexual pain and shutdown, gender identity, life/business coaching, relationship problems, religious conditioning and working with people who just desire a fuller, sexier, more free lifestyle.
I majored in Tantric Sexuality and Relationship transformation, so I love working with people who want to explore conscious sexuality and deepen their connection to themselves and others.
"Sex, love and relationship coaching is partnering with a client(s) in a loving, compassionate and supportive way to create a conscious container for transformation that results in greater self-love, integration and self-realization while staying focused on the client achieving their goals and desires in alignment with the truth of their original essence"
- Layla Martin's definition of her VITA coaching system. (The Vital & Integrated Tantric Approach to Coaching)
I combine these teachings with many other tools from my experience in conscious sexuality work, BDSM and consent training as well as embodiment and dance tools.
Coaching is most effective when done in a package as it is a process, and the more you both commit to doing the whole process and the home practices, the more results you will see.
I currently have 2 options for coaching packages depending on your desires.
Sacred erotic deep dive
6 week tantric sexuality and intimacy exploration
Take your intimacy to profound, deep and powerful places.
This journey is for couples looking to explore the conscious erotic arts of divine intimacy.
Week by week we'll explore various practices, rituals and intimacy building tools to accelerate your sexual growth as a couple.
You'll learn some of the best practices for giving one another powerful pleasure experiences, from sensual tantric massage to wild and primal play. This journey can also include conscious kink and bondage if you have desires to explore BDSM, or it can be totally sensual and energetic focused.
This course is for you if you're a couple looking to explore your sexuality together. You might already have an epic sex-life and you want to go even deeper, or you might have got to that natural place in your relationship when sexual intimacy has dipped and you're looking to re-ignite the passion. Whatever your story, all couples could get a lot out of this coaching.
Each session will include a communication aspect for building connection, an intimacy deepening tool and a main practice that can either be done live with full audio guidance or be taught and done after the session has finished as a private date night.
Some practices you'll learn are Tantric breathwork practices, yoni/limgam massage, sensual rituals, sex magic, primal exploration and erotic energy play.
All practices can be taught for same-sex, gender non-conforming or trans people and can be adapted to suit personal needs.
Coaching around any blockages, insecurities and other forms of resistance is also possible if they show up during the process.
6 x 90 minute sessions
I work with a SLIDING SCALE, meaning the prices vary based on your income.
€140-400/session . Higher paying packages include custom audio practices and additional email support between calls
How do I know what to pay? - Sliding scales work by people being honest about their level of abundance. The lowest price is for people who are students, jobseekers or starving artists. Average income earners pay something in the middle, and those who are in abundance and have the money pay the full price, which also helps support those in need who need this work and can't afford full price. Even the full price is considered low in the coaching world for what most people charge for this work.
What is the difference between coaching and therapy?
A lot of people doubt coaching because it isn't as regulated as therapy is (really, anyone can call themselves a coach) or don't really understand the difference.
There are some great coaches and there are some that have no idea what they're doing, that's for sure! (I'll admit, I was even one of them before I did my year-long certification!)
Therapy is, in general, past-focused and problem-focused. You go to therapy to try to 'fix' something and a lot of the time it is very mind oriented. They help you correct damaging behavior and patterns from the past, and it's a great place to have time to share about your issues, process them and get reflection.
Coaching is desire/goal orientated, so we focus on where you want to be and remove obstacles in the way that are there at present, we're not so focused on the 'story' or history unless it's actively causing problems in your life right now. Coaching also focuses on accountability- we hold you to the promises you make yourself so that you can really make the changes in your life you want to make. We also don't position ourselves as an authority and work with an equal dynamic, being a mirror to your experience and having the belief that you know what you really need in your life and have the power and creativity to get what you want, we just ask the right questions and provide tools. Therapy is ideal if you are dealing with trauma that dramatically affects your day to day life or are feeling incredibly shut down and disconnected. Coaching is ideal if you're dealing with life OK and you want to move towards thriving (having some past trauma is fine, we all do! But you want to be at a point where you've managed to find some balance and can regulate your nervous system!)
What if I don't see results?
The results are generally a reflection of the work you put in and your dedication to change, this is why choosing coaching should be a 'fuck yes' decision and not something you'll half-ass and give up on- that isn't worth either of our time! If however you do try your best and see absolutely no significant change at the end of the sessions we can discuss a partial or full refund!
I'm not spiritual or believe in energy at all- is this for me?
We work with a lot of meditation and breathwork so you'll need to at least be open-minded to trying new things. We can find the language and approach that works for you, but the work is quite spiritual in nature and the best work I do is with people willing to try new things and explore their potential.
It's online, how can it be that good? I need in-person support.
In general, in therapy, workshops etc, it is rare to have physical contact with your teacher/therapist unless you're doing specific bodywork. You'd be surprised just how powerful online sessions can be, and you get to do them without leaving the house (I don't mind if you're in pajamas!). A lot of people actually find having the comfort and safety of their home, plus the distance/anonymity of an online coach to be better for working with sexuality. It also means you can turn off your camera and explore some of the practices live and get feedback as you go when working with self-pleasure or erotic practices.
What if I just want 1 session?
I no longer do single sessions, as getting really clear on a desire and getting clarity on your goals and obstacles alone takes a whole hour usually! If you're interested in a longer, single day intensive then we can always work something out, please email me for more information.
Do you do sessions in person?
Sometimes, especially for breathwork sessions or emotional release, or if you're at a retreat with me! Generally even when I'm in the same city as someone, we do sessions online though.
Can I be naked/self pleasure while you watch?
No, it's not that kind of coaching. I suggest searching for some lovely webcam models to spend some money on! <3
Feel free to email me any other questions, or jump on a clarity call with me!